In my daily wanderings through Pinterest, I am always looking for inspirational quotes, pictures, and stories.
They inspire me, of course.
They make me think and reflect and help to sharpen my dreams and personal views.
The other day, I came across a list of "Ten Painful Truths."
It really resonated with me so I saved it to share with you today.
I'm not sure they are all "painful," but they are definitely worth self-reflection.
1 - The average human life
is relatively short.
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| Photo Credit: Mike |
According to a recent Google search, the average human life span is 79 years.
At 54, I've well surpassed my "mid-life" and have fewer years now than I obviously did then, based on this average and possibly aging to100.
Being a former math teacher, I understand averages, but it's still worth thinking about.
I feel like now, more than ever, I'm just starting to really understand what it means to live life and I have all sorts of dreams and plans that I want to pursue.
Things that I put off earlier in life because work, parenting, and other "life stuff" was happening.
At a certain age, you understand more and more about life, and the "rules" in which you've lived it.
That was the whole reason for my blog and it's the title.
With age comes wisdom.
The wisdom to know what's important and what's not.
2 - You will only ever live the
life you create for yourself.
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| Photo Credit: Natasha Fernandez |
It's a universal truth that you are responsible for you.
We all get to create our own lives.
Now, I truly don't want to discount that there are disparities among each and every one of us.
Some of us have more advantages than others, some of us have less.
Those things shape who we are and how we interact and relate to the world.
But what I believe is...
The HOW is what we can control.
I've not had the perfect life by any means.
I understand parental and personal divorce, living with an alcoholic step-parent that you deeply loved, being emotionally and physically abused by my first husband (and watching it happen to my mother when I was just a small child), just to name a few.
They were very hard and I coped in different ways.
I could be angry and resentful, but I CHOSE to take those life lessons and make things better for me.
No, it wasn't easy and I am in no way saying that my choices in coping were right and someone else has made bad choices.
This is what happened to me.
I just know that I am happy - something I choose to be every day.
I get the final say in my life, despite what it sends my way.
3 - Being busy does NOT
mean being productive.
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| Photo Credit: Pixabay |
This is probably the one the MOST resonates with me.
You see, one of my coping mechanisms with everything was to be super busy all the time.
Being busy gave me a feeling of being in control when things felt very out of control.
But, we are not bees.
You cannot be busy all the time because your mind and body MUST REST to recover from everyday life.
I feel like we are "told" that unless we are busy, we will not achieve success, or happiness, or fulfillment.
THIS IS A TOTAL LIE!
To rest and meditate and reflect and relax is happiness.
In fact, taking rests and breaks helps us to be even more productive.
It's not the quantity of time, but the quality of time you are busy.
We have not been created to work like bees until we die with only one purpose in life.
The world is a beautiful place and we are meant to slow down and enjoy it and each other.
4 - Some kind of failure always
occurs before success.
Photo Credit: Gratisography
Thomas Edison said (about the light bulb)
"I have not failed. I just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
Which loosely translates to NO ONE IS EVER AN IMMEDIATE SUCCESS STORY.
The phrase "overnight success" is just a carefully crafted public relations spin designed to make us feel like we are not capable of being successful because it doesn't happen overnight.
Or working our tails off and wondering why we are not having success quickly.
There are thousands of successful people who will tell you that immense amounts of hard work, inordinate amounts of time, and consistent failures eventually led to their "overnight" success.
Each failure taught them more about themselves and their desires than any success ever could.
And...
Without those failures, they would have never achieved success.
Those failures were just the little lessons, the stepping stones if you will, guiding them to the big prize.
If you want something, PLAN for your failures.
Expect them.
Analyze them and learn from them.
Eventually, you will be successful.
5 - Thinking and doing are two
very different things.
Photo Credit: Pixabay
I am a huge proponent of thinking things through, carefully planning so that you have a favorable outcome.
But, always thinking and planning and never executing or at the very least, trying something,
is definitely not going to change your life.
There are so many people in this world who just think about things but never follow through with the actual doing.
It's something that eventually leads to a lifetime of regrets.
See, here's the deal for those people.
Thinking is safe. It's fun at the moment but has no real substance.
It doesn't require any effort, especially when it's done in a lackadaisical manner and
without the intent to ever really follow through.
Now don't get me wrong, there is the thinking that you will never follow through with:
"I'm thinking about buying a private tropical island and a yacht to go with it."
That kind of thinking is fun, but it's really fantastical thinking for most of us, and it's really not rooted in the big dreams we have for ourselves.
(Unless that is, of course, your dream.)
I'm talking about the thinking that supports your dreams.
Like moving to Utah, to live in a home you've never physically set foot in because
your soul feels so alive in that desert climate and in the western part of the country.
This kind of thinking and doing is scary, BUT, it awakens the soul and makes you feel alive!
6 - You don't have to wait for
an apology to forgive.
Photo Credit: Maria Gylyaeva
This is a hard one, but if you want to move forward, you must forgive.
Being angry with someone is a poison that you drink every day, by yourself, without
truly affecting those with whom you are mad.
In truth, you can forgive anybody.
You don't even have to announce it to that person at all.
Just let it go and move on.
You can get counseling, or meditate, or pray, or talk it through with a trusted friend,
but in the end, you have to forgive.
If it's hard, do it for your physical self.
When you hold that anger and resentment and pain inside, you are creating a toxic environment
in the form of constant stress, for your body.
Don't believe me?
The research is endless.
I highly encourage you to also seek counseling or therapy to help with this.
Do NOT compare your issues with others and think that you don't need help
"because others have had it so much worse than me."
Mental health issues affect each one of us differently and this is not the comparison game.
Seek help...that's what it's there for.
7 - Some people are simply the
wrong match for you
Photo Credit: burak kostak
It's okay to not love or like everyone you meet.
It's okay to love or like anyone for a short amount of time.
It's okay to have once loved or liked someone, but to move on.
In truth, you must be true to yourself and understand what it is you truly need
and can give in all your relationships.
If it's a friendly (not acquaintance) relationship, what qualities are most important to you?
What helps you build trust in another person.
What do you bring to that relationship that you expect in return?
Loyalty? Trust? Honesty? Laughter? Humility?
If you don't know, how will you know that this is a true friend?
If it's a romantic relationship, the same things apply, but maybe on a deeper more intimate level.
In our marriage, hubby and I really like being together.
He makes me laugh EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
He listens (to the important things) I talk about,
but isn't afraid to call me out or disagree with me.
This keeps me on my toes.
I can't "walk all over him" which lets me not always be "in control."
This is important to me.
We've had our ups and downs; serious ups and downs, but we've somehow
managed to make it through and are stronger than ever.
We're so right for each other.
8 - It's not other people's job to
love you: it's yours.
Photo Credit: Tim Mossholder
There are so many things right about this statement that I could do a single post on just this.
Respecting and loving yourself is the single most important thing you can do for you.
If you are a glass-half-full, how can you fill others?
If you don't love and respect yourself, how can you extend that to others?
In fact, how can others extend that to you?
Truth is...
They can't.
You will never feel truly loved or fulfilled in any of your relationships until you love yourself first.
When you don't love you, you send that out into the universe.
Those in that universe struggle to love you.
They want to, but it's hard loving someone who doesn't respect or love themselves.
Again, this is something you might want to talk about to a qualified person.
9 - What you own is not who YOU are.
Photo Credit: Alexandra Maria
Look, I like nice things.
But I know that nice things don't complete me.
Carrying that expensive bag or driving that expensive car makes me no better than anyone else.
Those are "things."
They come and go.
In fact, they are such "on trend" and "fad-type" items that once you get them you might not want them because they've already been replaced with the next great thing.
Public relations and advertising companies do an excellent job telling us what we need to
be successful, or look like we have loads of money, or are a part of the "in crowd."
That's all hype.
It's all an illusion, hidden behind fancy, slick lies, and inuendos.
Let's talk about diamonds.
Do you know that diamonds are literally a dime a dozen?
A well-known diamond cartel would hold rough cut diamonds in storage so that
the cost of diamonds would rise.
In fact, it was slick advertising that helped to perpetuate this through the "Diamonds Are Forever" campaign.
I once heard someone I know bragging about this expensive Rolex watch that the owned.
Another person standing nearby asked if it told the time. The Rolex owner looked a bit befuddled
and stated "Of course, it's a Rolex!" To which the person replied,
"Well, mine is a Timex and I bet it tells time exactly like yours."
I have never forgotten this exchange.
It was such a pivotal moment in my thinking.
...and finally...
10 - Everything changes, every second.
Photo Credit: Eugene Shelestov
Because our only "enemy" is time, we need to realize that time will never stop.
It's always changing... every second.
We can't halt it.
We can't pause it.
We can only live by it and with it.
Songs have been written about it.
(Time in a Bottle, Time is on My Side, Time After Time, Time of the Season)
Some movies explore time, time travel, time revision, and the like.
(Looper, Time Cop, Groundhog Day, Intersteller, Back to the Future)
But, time moving forward is inevitable.
And you only have seconds, which turn to minutes, which turn to hours, then days,
then months, then years.
With the changing of time comes other changes.
Seasons. Aging. Life.
It's a surety.
We need to be thankful for all the time we're given because the only alternative is death.
Photo Credit: Duo Chuot
At the end of the day, be true to you.
Work hard, love hard, laugh hard, play hard, and live your life to the fullest.
Break all the rules and have an amazing time do so.
It's the truth.
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