Do YOU know how valuable you are?
Growing up, I always felt I had to diminish who I was so as not to appear "stuck up," arrogant, or snobbish.
I knew I had certain talents; things that set me "apart" from my friends, but I downplayed them and tried to diminish their value so that I wouldn't stand out in any way.
Things like:
Leadership Skills - which to me were translated negatively as "you're so bossy."
Creative Intellect - translated as "you can't make a living doing that."
Singing Talent - which often was translated as "She thinks she's all that."
and the list goes on...
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It wasn't until I was in my early 40's that I realized that all those translations were bullshit and I'd spent those past 40 some years living a life that wasn't really about who I was or who I was MADE to be.
I had spent the better part of my daughter's life telling, encouraging, and supporting her to NOT be what I had become - fearful, worrisome, tentative, careful, etc...
But I did want her to become a great actor (which she is pursuing as a career) because I had become one myself.
If you ask anyone, they would tell you I was confident, self-assured, a "go-getter," in control.
In fairness, that WAS the facade I presented to the world, and there were days that I did somewhat feel all those things, but it wasn't who I felt like inside all the time.
It was around my early 40's that I had an epiphany of sorts.
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I realized that it wasn't about being something everyone else wanted, it was about me being who I wanted.
I needed to SEE my value and how I contributed to the bigger picture.
My talents were uniquely mine and only mine.
They were made to be shared with others as a standard to guide them to their own sense of worth and value.
I had contributions to make that ONLY I COULD MAKE because of the talents I had been given.
It was mind-blowing.
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SEE, I believe we are all made to be specific pieces of a larger puzzle that creates a massive picture of life.
IF we don't do our part as a specific piece of that puzzle then the bigger picture is incomplete or distorted.
We need to identify and celebrate our unique talents and value, even if we've been taught to hide or downplay them.
Start by taking a piece of paper and writing down everything, and I mean everything that is a personal attribute.
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DON'T THINK, JUST WRITE!
(AND turn off those voices that tell you that you shouldn't write a particular item.)
Here's mine:
Smart
Funny
Quick-witted
Creative
Spatially Gifted
Singing Talent
Organized
Adaptable
Friendly
Outgoing
Introspective
Assertive
Risk-taker
Informative
Natural Leader
Observant
Helpful
Notice that this is a list of character attributes and not a "chore" list. I am good at cleaning the house, but that's not WHO I am, but what I can do.
Now, as painful as it may be, write down a phrase or two of all the things that have been told or implied to you about each item on your list:
For example:
Organized - "You have OCD and want everything YOUR way."
Assertive - "You are so bossy."
Risk-Taker - "Oh my gosh, you can't do that. What if something happens?"
Are you still with me here? Are you writing this down and putting it on paper in black and white?
Now...
CROSS THROUGH EVERY SINGLE STINKING ONE OF THOSE PHRASES WITH A BOLD LINE!
DO IT!!!
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How did that feel?
Look at that list. The words are still there, BUT the phrases, the things that diminished you and held you back from being who you were meant to be are CROSSED OFF.
And you were the one doing the crossing off!
You need to SEE that you have worth.
You are worthy.
It's great to be everything on that list IF THAT'S WHO YOU WANT TO BE.
If there's something there that YOU want to change, then go ahead and change it.
BUT DON'T CHANGE IT UNLESS YOU WANT TO!
Look at that list. The words are still there, BUT the phrases, the things that diminished you and held you back from being who you were meant to be are CROSSED OFF.
And you were the one doing the crossing off!
You need to SEE that you have worth.
You are worthy.
It's great to be everything on that list IF THAT'S WHO YOU WANT TO BE.
If there's something there that YOU want to change, then go ahead and change it.
BUT DON'T CHANGE IT UNLESS YOU WANT TO!
Be who you want to be and start now, whatever your age.
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| Photo Credit: Jill Wellington from Pexels |
It's never too late to SEE yourself as valuable.
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