Lessons Learned in 2018

Very quickly, another year has passed.

Did you blink?

Because I did, and it was fast!

However, upon reflection, I have come to recognize a few lessons learned, a few rules broken, and excitement for what 2019 will be.

Lesson 1

IT'S ALL ABOUT CHOICES!

“Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely.” 

― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

No matter what has happened to me personally, I MAKE MY OWN CHOICES about how I deal with it, learn from it, and move forward with it.

Sure, I have a back story, LIKE EVERYONE ELSE...

But it's going to "refine" me, NOT define me.

It's not an excuse for poor choices.

Lesson 2

COURAGE IS KEY!

“Don't be afraid of your fears. They're not there to scare you. They're there to let you know that something is worth it.” 
― C. JoyBell C.

Starting my blog was something that I had been thinking about for a long time, but it intimidated me.

What if no one read it, or liked it, or even was inspired by it?

In addition, I made the decision to retire after 29 years in education.  That was truly scary.  

Would I be okay both financially and collectively?

Both of these took some serious introspection on what I really wanted and was capable of doing.

Now it's time to start my YouTube channel...

(insert loud gulp here)

Lesson 3

LIVE YOUR LIFE FULLY!

“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.” 

― Oscar Wilde

Get focused and pursue that which really makes you happy.   It doesn't have to be big and bold, it just has to make YOU happy.

As I get older, I see how short life is for some and longer than expected for others.  Which really means we don't know how long we're here, so make the best of it.

Lesson 4

BE TRUTHFUL 

“Tell the truth, or someone will tell it for you.” 

― Stephanie Klein, Straight Up and Dirty

Telling a lie is easier than telling the truth, but it ALWAYS bites you back.  This is one rule that is never broken.

Sure, some truths are hard to deliver ("No, that is NOT a good color on you") but, when asked, always go for the truth.  You can be tactful, but also be truthful.

Helpful Tip:  When asked "Is this a good color for me?" you can easily respond "It doesn't do as much as this color does for your complexion and eyes."

OR...

"Was I wrong to behave that way?  Response: "If you feel wrong, you should apologize.  I would choose to apologize if I behaved in a way that was hurtful and disrespectful, especially in hindsight."

See, the truth is in the response without hurting feelings.

Lesson 5

HAVE HOPE

“Hold fast to dreams,

For if dreams die

Life is a broken-winged bird,

That cannot fly.” 

― Langston Hughes

In the end, you must always have hope for something better, something greater, something more worthwhile than what you have now.

Hope is mentioned 129 times in the bible.  It's an unseen "force" if you will that gives us encouragement in the face of adversity or when all seems lost.

I believe our souls would perish without the concept and longing that hope brings to us.

In conclusion, 2018 was a great year and 2019 will be what it will be...

But I will make my own choices.

Have courage.

Live my life fully.

Be truthful (and tactful)

Reside in hope.

BECAUSE THESE THINGS MAKE ME HAPPY!

Audrey Hepburn said it best:

“The most important thing is to enjoy your life—to be happy—it's all that matters.” 

WATCH OUT 2019, WE'RE COMING IN BREAKING RULES!

Happy New Year Everyone!!!

Setting Goals with Grace - Part 2!

Welcome back to part 2 of goal setting.

If you didn't read part 1, check it out here because it's a great segway into this post.

Let's get started...

I am a consummate list maker.

In fact, I make lists for everything and enjoy checking them off.  It keeps me organized and sane, especially when I have a lot to do.

My list this past week in my calendar.

But, setting goals is not the same as making a list.

Goals are the stepping stones to big dreams.  They require more than making and checking things off of a to-do list.  They require thought, effort, challenge, and perseverance.

Lists are tasks that you can easily perform and complete.

Where most people "fail" when setting goals and dreaming big is in their effort to define and set meaningful, achievable goals.

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While teaching school, and ultimately working with teachers, setting SMART goals was something that I did personally and professionally.

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I know it may at first seem (or feel) silly to set goals this way, but it's really a "brain" thing.

Let me explain...

Your brain is the most complex organ in your body.  It CRAVES structure and clarity.  It looks for patterns and meaning when trying to understand or comprehend situations or subjects.  It likes things that have meaning and value to you in particular.

Setting goals using the SMART structure satisfies your brain in those things I just mentioned.

So, now...

Think about a time when you've set goals in the past.  

Now ask yourself why you didn't achieve them?

If you look at the graphic above, you can probably safely admit that they were probably lacking in one if not more of the 5 areas and each area is important, no matter if you do find them silly.

Let's use one of my goals as an example:

GENERAL GOAL:  to exercise with my yoga tapes.

Sounds simple...right?

But now...what does this goal really mean?

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Let's make it a SMART GOAL!

SPECIFIC = I will improve my fitness level (Big Dream here) through yoga

MEASURABLE = Improving the yoga poses with ease

ATTAINABLE = I will work out with my yoga tapes each day, varying the 

yoga sessions and times; no less than 20 minutes each day

RELEVANT = Yoga is a great way to improve my strength and flexibility

which are my real needs.

TIME BOUND = In 3 months I will have improved both strength and flexibility, 

reaching longer and working easier through the poses.

FORMULATED STATEMENT

By the end of March 2019, I will have improved my yoga poses as well as my 

fitness level (strength and flexibility) through daily 20 minutes

or more yoga sessions.

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Here are a few things to notice about my goal:

1.  I used "I will" statements instead of "I want."  So IMPORTANT!!!

2.  The specificity of each of the areas help me to refine, then define what my needs are.  This helps me to frame it in my brain and really make it an achievable, realistic goal for me.

3.  It's framed in a POSITIVE light.  It's a plan of action.

The next IMPORTANT thing to do is to WRITE IT DOWN!

Write it down and READ IT EVERY DAY!  This will motivate you.  I'm writing mine on large Dollar Tree foam board and placing it in the area where I will be doing my yoga tapes. (Our basement)

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Visual cues like this are a great way to focus the brain and help you stay on track with your goals.

In fact, research has shown that highly effective people write down their goals and follow them daily until they're achieved.  Then they start again.

Here's where you can really make a long-term goal FUN FOR YOU!

REWARD YOURSELF!

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Decide when and where you would like to reward yourself through the journey of your goal.

It may be at a midway mark.  I'm looking at a 2-week mark, giving me opportunities to reward myself around 6 times during the goal setting time frame.

Why reward yourself?

BECAUSE YOU ARE ACHIEVING YOUR GOALS!

See, the goal is not achieved at the end, but really through the process.  You have made a commitment to yourself and you are following through.  That should be celebrated.

Rewards can really be anything that YOU like.

I'm thinking I'm going to reward myself with little items for my crafting endeavors.  I'm still deciding, and it may change as I go through the process as I see some things that I'd like.

So, before I wind down this post, let me give you a few words of caution.

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Really think about your goal and a realistic timetable.  I'm giving myself 3 months initially.  

This doesn't mean that I'm stopping after 3 months.  I will reevaluate at that point and figure out where I need to tweak my goal.  It could be the "everyday" thing, or it could be adding additional challenges.  I don't know yet and that's okay!

Stick to a FEW goals.  It's not realistic at all to set more than 1, 2, or even 3 goals at one time.  

If you set more than 3, you're setting yourself up for failure.

I recommend that you start with one.  I'm sure there are other things that you want to do but work on really challenging yourself with one at first.  Work through the "kinks" and find your groove.  Then add a second or maybe a third goal.

REMEMBER to give yourself GRACE if you struggle, forget or miss something, or get off track from your goal.  

IT'S OKAY... I REPEAT, IT'S OKAY!!!

Get back on that "horse" as soon as you can, OR redo your goal to meet the change.

You are in charge of your own goal.  The only person you are accountable to is you.

Now, go out and make a goal or 2.

Break your own rules!

PS:  Next Tuesday, the day I usually post again, will be Christmas.  I will not be posting on that day.

I will however be posting next Saturday!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

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Setting Goals with Grace and Dreaming Big - Part 1

The new year is almost here, and I am sure that many of you are thinking about your "resolutions."

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You are probably one of three types of people when it comes to new year resolutions/goals.

1.  The person who has good intentions and sets resolutions, and then gives up on Jan. 2nd.

2.  The person who has given up setting resolutions, well because.....Jan. 2nd.

3.  The person who sets resolutions and achieves them, and is the champion of their life!

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Yeah...I'm not number 3 either.

Oh, and let's start calling them goals instead of resolutions.  Resolutions sound so formal and final, and goals sound so much more achievable and doable...

So, how do you set goals and achieve them then?

You first and foremost must give yourself GRACE ...

Giving yourself grace when setting and working to achieve your goals, is allowing yourself to have setbacks, moments of doubt or total failure, and yet keep moving forward believing in yourself and your ability to accomplish your goals.

TRUST ME, you will not achieve your goals effortlessly or without failure.

REAL GOALS, the kind that makes a difference in your life and the lives of others are never without setbacks and doubt.  The struggle is real and hard, and at times you may want to give up and throw in the proverbial towel. 

That's okay, just don't do it!

Like the butterfly working to come out of the cocoon, you will have to give yourself moments of rest and silence before starting up again. 

Eventually, you will emerge, dry yourself off, and soar onward and upward.

Grace also allows you to DREAM BIG!

Now, don't ever CONFUSE dreaming big with setting goals.

They are not the same thing and you will quickly find yourself in trouble IF you believe they are.

See, dreaming big is looking toward your future for all that you desire for a healthy, happy, successful life as a human being.

Goals are the stepping stones to that big dream.

Dreaming big gives you the destination while goals are the roadmap.

Get it?

Here's a personal example.

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Our current big dream (hubs and I) is to live out west among flat red land with beautiful mountains in the background.  It includes a low maintenance home, no grass (according to hubby), culture, and the ability to travel in our RV.

This is not our goal, but our dream.  It's big; like really big!  It requires a lot of strategic and financial planning.  It means a lot of personal changes in our lives.  It sets the stage for the next chapter.

So, in order to achieve this dream, we have to set goals.

Here are a few of the goals we need to achieve.

1.  Downsize and purge our current belongings.  We CAN'T take everything with us, and nor do I want to.

My actual basement right now.  UGH!

2.  Find ways to cut current costs (like not having 999 cable channels that we don't watch) and put that extra money towards moving costs, travel, and home purchase.

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3.  Plan a few vacations to the areas we are thinking about and visit them.  Meet with realtors in order to get an idea about our needs and what's available, both in the way of houses and communities.

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4.  Make an evolving list of what we will need in our new home to make it work as efficiently as possible for us.  Things like one story, large pantry, low maintenance yard, etc...

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5.  Set up "date nights" with hubby once a month to review our goals and have conversations around our big dream.  This will help to refine those goals and make sure that we are on the same page.

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Notice that I didn't put a timeline on the big dream.

Nope, timelines are for goals in my opinion.  If we can work those goals in a timely manner (that we set for ourselves), then the big dream will become our big reality sooner than if we give it a firm date.

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I'm going to leave you with your thoughts on setting goals with grace.

For now.

My "Part 2" post on Saturday will be an instructional post on HOW to set reasonable goals and ACHIEVE them so that your BIG DREAMS become your own reality.

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I'll be showing you a few of MY PERSONAL GOALS FOR 2019 so that you can see them in action.

Set "BREAKING RULES" as one of your goals. 

I know I am!

Williamsburg Inspired Hostess Gift

Last weekend, hubby and I were graciously invited to spend the weekend at my dear sister-in-law's timeshare property in Williamsburg.  We jumped at the chance to see Williamsburg in its Christmas glory, especially all of the beautiful and natural floral displays on and in the colonial buildings.

The use of firs and fruits make it quintessentially Christmas and can be easily reimagined for a lot less than a commercially bought arrangement.

I knew I could design a floral centerpiece for a hostess gift for an upcoming dinner party, I knew exactly how I was going to use my Williamsburg inspiration.

The first this was to gather all my needed supplies.

Cuttings from my yard of various bushes and trees, holly cuttings from my neighbors gigantic holly tree, floral foamed and soaked container, WHOLE cloves, large yellow lemons, three $4.98 floral bunches from the grocery store, faux floral picks with a Christmas theme, wooden skewers (the kind you find in the grocery for shish-kebobs), floral foam, paddle wire, wire snips, and scissors.

I started by prepping 3 lemons.  I used an ice-pick, but the wooden skewer would have worked just as well.

I poked about 7-9 holes in a straight line, from bottom to top, and then pushed in the whole cloves.  When doing this, spill the cloves out on a paper towel so you can find ones that have the whole clove head on top of the stem.

I repeated this in opposite "lines" on the lemon, finishing with 4 sections.  I placed the lemon on a wooden skewer and help it up temporarily in the floral foam.  I made 3 of these in all.

Next, I opened and organized my floral and found this...

Womp, Womp.

But, I wasn't concerned because I knew I could fix it to work.

All was not lost!

Here's what I did.  I cut off a bit of the stem on the bud side at an angle.  I took a bit of the paddle wire and folded over.  With the folded side, I shoved it up into the stem of the rose.

(Because roses have stuffy woody-type stems, this is easy to repair.)

Next, I cut an angle in the lower part of the stem and pushed in the other side of the paddle wire.  

It sort of "puzzles" the two pieces together.

I used the floral tape to secure AND protect the "wounded" stem.  I also made sure to use this rose in a place where the bud would be supported by other parts of the arrangement.

This bud may or may not fully bloom, and will probably be the first rose to wilt, but when used in this way, you can at least salvage it and give it a chance.

At this point, I was ready to start assembling.

I always start with the filler as it becomes the stabilizer for the florals.  The woody stems are stiff enough to "hold" the other pieces and provide needed bulk.

As I've stated in other posts about flower arranging, the vessel you use dictates the overall shape of the arrangement.

Here, the vase is a short round that's about 6 inches in height.

I made sure that my filler went up around 12-15 inches and then fanned out "fat" all the way around.

Here it is ready for the flowers.

Now, if you are trying this, you might think it looks like a hot mess at this point.

It does!  

That's okay.  You need this substance to make it work, and you can always "jooge" the individual parts of the arrangement until you get it right.

In go the florals.

Tip:  Make sure that some of your elements really go "in" the arrangement at different depths.  Flowers don't all grow to one length, so you should never arrange them at all one length.

The eye should be drawn down into the arrangement because in your brain it created dimension and interest.  Your brain "searches" for the things it can somewhat see.  When it discovers it, it makes you happy...hence the reason flowers make (most) people happy to look at!

Anyway...

I start with a center floral that I want to use to draw the eye into the arrangement.  I picked the best bud of the roses and placed it at the highest point.  I then worked the other roses (including my repaired bud) around the arrangement.

Tip:  When working on arrangements, remember to rotate the vase often so that you have symmetry from every angle.  This is especially true when it will be placed on a table that can be viewed from 360 degrees.

If you are placing the arrangement in front of a picture, wall, or something that obstructs the view from any angle, you will build it forward from there and not waste your florals where they won't be seen.

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This arrangement will be seen from all sides and is perfect for a coffee or dining table setting.

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This mug arrangement is made to be viewed from the front.  You can see that in the "back" is only greens and no florals.

I used a skewer and some floral tape to make the picks the perfect length for placing in the arrangement.  When the florals are all spent, the recipient can save these picks and use them again.

And just like that...

It was done.

You can see the purchased florals nestled in among the yard clippings.  The faux floral picks and the lemons were randomly scattered in as well and add depth, color, and texture.

Here's another view from the back.  

Texture, color, and different elements make it visually appealing and lovely.

I will tell you that my hostess loved the flowers ( I knew she would, she's as crazy about having fresh flowers in her house as I am.) and everyone there thought they were purchased from a "real florist!"

I priced out similar "real florist" arrangements and they would have cost anywhere between $65-$125!

Mine totaled around a whopping $24.

I reused and gifted the vase, and other than the flowers, picks, and lemons, I had everything else on hand.

Savings in my pocket is a great way to break the rules!